Saturday, August 18, 2012

Sweat

It's quiet now, here in God's waiting room, the foyer of forever.  The Canadians have gone home, unfamiliar as they are with the miracle of Freon.  A fly buzzes against the window for a bit, then sputters and spirals one final time to the floor, silent.  It's the dead of summer.

In the North, people ask, friends ask, "Isn't it hot?"

How to answer?

I flip off a sardonic, "You don't have to shovel Hot."  But that dodges the issue.  Of course it's hot.  Damn hot.  Egg fry hot.  Milk curdles on the counter while you hunt down a cereal bowl.  I love it.

It's true.  Air conditioning is fair respite, but the outdoor heat is to revel in.  The Finns invented saunas so they could bask in the essence of Florida's summer.  The Romans had their caldaria, the Aztecs their temazcal.  They knew:  sweat cleanses the pores and the soul.  Florida folk have the cleanest pores and souls in the known universe.

Life slows in the Florida summer.  Folks stroll.  Yesterday watching a youth football team practice, I saw a tough old coach twirling a parasol.  At mid-day, there is nothing but you and the heat.  The mosquitoes have all cooked off, and your skin glows incandescent.  The off-shore breeze is a blow-torch.  The siesta is the great restorer.

I have been here four years, and each year the absence of winter cold is more normal, as is the infinite heat of summer, both reasons to render thanks to the weather gods.  Except perhaps the hurricane god.

This year we had record heat.  I'm alive and thriving.

Newt  

21 comments:

  1. I’m beginning to doubt this Newt story.
    I think you may be more of an Iguana.

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    1. ,,, for what is a newt but an iguana with a sunscreen habit?

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  2. Yeah, iguana, I was thinking the same thing. I think you have heat stroke Newt ... Speaking of hurricanes, is Issac going to bother your neck of the woods much?

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    1. Isaac has everyone's undivided attention at the moment.

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  3. I'd rather shovel snow and then go relax in the hot tub. It's invigorating, cleansing, and gives us upstate New Yorkers a healthy, rosy, glow.

    If Florida residents were any slower, you'd need roads leading to their homes labeled "no wake zones".

    As for the parasol-twirling football coach, I think I saw him when I viewed the last football game with the Buffalo Pansies and the Pittsburgh Steelers.

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  4. I'd rather shovel snow, then relax in the hot tub. It's invigorating, and puts a rosy glow on your face.

    As for the parasol-twirling coach, I believe I saw him last Saturday when the Buffalo Pansies were trounced by the Pittsburgh Steelers.

    If life got any slower in Florida, the sea turtles would win the race.

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  5. You'd think a Californian would know how to spell Isaac - sorry Newt. Hope ya'll are safe (I have lots o family peeps in Orlando & Jacksonville). Maybe the RNC is to blame.......

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  6. Oops, I fat-fingered the last post.

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    1. Editing this blog is an everlasting adventure.

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    2. Keep the adventure alive. Is Isaac giving you fits yet? My daughter lives in Key West and the only problem they had there was a downed palm frond and some rain. Needless to say, they consider themselves mucho lucky.

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    3. I am devastated here. I have boarded up windows, stowed all my garden gnomes, stocked 20 gallons of purest mountain-spring water and battened all my miscellaneous hatches. I have become one with Isaac. I own this storm.

      Then the bastard turned tail and headed for New Orleans. We got a couple hours of light rain, no more than a few balmy breezes, and some dimming of our trademark sunshine. The streets of Tampa are teeming with hungover Republicans wondering why the last partiers standing are all wearing Ron Paul T-shirts.

      I want my money back.

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  7. Gotta watch out for those garden gnomes. One of them landed on my roof during the last snow storm we had, which I believe was two years ago. I think the gnome got lost in the eye of your last hurricane and ended up in snow country.

    Glad you didn't blow away, Newt.

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  8. Miss your blog posts. Where've you been?

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    1. Aww - I'm around. Some minor medical issues and other distractions have filled my time. Soon, soon.

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  9. Hope everything is OK Newt, thinking of you.

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  10. I miss the wit and wisdom of Newt too Pam. I hope all is well Ev. We look forward to your return.

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    1. Thanks for the inquiry, Randy, and I know itsmecissy was asking a bit ago. I am still grappling with a couple of issues, including recovery from an apparently successful cardiac ablation to fix an annoying atrial fibrillation condition. I'm "OK," and approaching "Hunky Dory." When I hit HD, I'll get back to blogging. None of this is life-threatening, but it tends to throttle the sense of humor some.

      Merry Christmas to all from Paradise - where "Stand Your Ground" is carved in stone (right after RIP).

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  11. Merry Christmas Newt, and best wishes for a happy and healthier New Year :)

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  12. Will be waiting for you to hit HD, Happy New Year!

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  13. How ya doing Newt? Just checking in...

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